Here’s How My Second Wedding Is Anti-Perfection

Why I’m saying ‘no’ to the dress

“It’s $1,800, and will require alterations, and you better order it within the next few days. You’re cutting it really close.” The saleswoman at the bridal shop told me as my daughter and soon-to-be stepdaughter watched me try to haggle the price of a designer wedding dress.

“What if I buy this one from you at the store? It’s got some damage, but I can maybe get it fixed when I get my alterations?” I inquired, thinking I could get a 50% discount. I told her my max budget for a dress was $1,000.

She whispered to the store owner, nodded, and returned. She confidently looked me right in the eye and said, “We could take $300 off.”

My girls looked at me expectantly. Was this a good offer? I could tell they were waiting to see if I would take this “hot deal” and run with it. After all, the wedding lady said, I needed to decide on a dress like yesterday.

I went back into the dressing room, and as I climbed out of the dress, adorned with lace, beads, and a long train (that I said I didn’t want), I thought to myself — how the hell am I going to pack this dress for a Destination Wedding in the Dominican Republic?

I told the saleslady I would think about it and high-tailed it out of the store…