Humor | Christmas | Open Letter
Todd and Margo, Where Are They Now?
An open letter to Hollywood begging for the next reboot
Dear Hollywood,
It seems like reboots are all the rage right now. I don’t blame you. Why mess with success?
On behalf of all women in their mid-life crisis, I thank you for bringing back Uncle Jesse, Zach Morris, and The Fresh Prince. These were my crushes in my formative years. Why I didn’t end up moving to the West Coast to find these male archetypes is beyond me. I guess I prefer losing football teams to eternal sunshine.
Anyway, something’s been on my mind for a long time. I’m dying to know what happened to Todd and Margo?! The quintessential yuppie couple from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
Hollywood, I need to know more about Margo’s story arc. Cuz #girlcrush.
Margo, with her long curly dark and her and sharp tongue, was my childhood hero. She was 100% that b*tch.
I forgave her for being rude and unkind to her neighbors. I’m sure her prickliness was just a mask for her imposter syndrome. She may have been a boss babe at work, but inside she was trying to keep it all together. Being a strong female in the late ’80s must have been lonely. I can empathize with her.
And her neighbors were a hot mess. What was she supposed to do? She showed us how it’s essential to set boundaries.
She was quite profound.
I believe deep down in my heart, her burning question, “why is the carpet all wet?” is a metaphor. The subtext “Why is life such a sh*t show?”
The carpet was all wet in 2020.
Hollywood, I need to know what happened to Todd and Margo?!
Here are my Top 10 burning questions:
- How did Todd and Margo cope with quarantine? Did they constantly bicker? I know how easy it is to lose sight of the real issue and get in a fight about something as dumb as a wet carpet or a damn cucumber.
- What’s their workout routine? Do Todd and Margo still go running together? Or do they do Cross Fit? Do they wear matching athleisure? I’d like to know if they recommend one or two rest days per week.
- What kind of home decor do they have now? Did they keep their art deco or embrace a more Joanna Gaines farmhouse vibe? Personally, I see Margo as a trendsetter, and I bet her house is full of one of a kind pieces.
- Did they stay in suburban Chicago? How awkward was it for her to run into Clark & fam after their Christmas shenanigans? Surely she didn’t bite her tongue. I’d like to know more about her conflict resolution strategy.
- How has Margo changed as a result of the global pandemic? Did she become more introspective? Did she slow down and smell the roses? Is she still a boss babe?
- Did Todd ever man up? I feel bad for Todd. Even though he might be the original metrosexual he didn’t seem in tune with his emotions. It appeared he bottled up his frustrations instead of feeling them. Did he seek therapy?
- Did they ever have kids? It appeared the double income no kids (DINK) lifestyle was their chosen path. However, their children would be in their late 20s / early 30s right now if they did have kids. That would make them grandparents. What kind of grandparents would Todd and Margo be?
- What style trends have they embraced? Even though Todd might be a grandpa, I like to picture him with a millennial beard. You know the one: 5 o’clock shadow meets I’m too cool to shave. And Margo. Her beautiful curls. Does she get a blowout now? Sadly for us curly-haired women, Perma frizz is no longer the vibe.
- Do they eat carbs? Judging by their sauna suits and their commitment to portable hydration, they were very health conscious. I’d like to know what camp they are in, Team Paleo? Team WholeFoods? Team Vegan? I’d watch their cooking show.
- Are they even still married? I hate to say it, but things weren’t looking very good for Todd and Margo when we last saw them. Domestic violence aside, they had some emotional baggage they needed to resolve. How did they work that out… asking for a friend?
I sure hope that you consider Todd and Margo with all the reboot ideas coming your way.
I am sending you all my peace, love, and carpet cleaner. Merry Christmas!
Sincerely,
This Mama
